i feel your teeth grinding against my neck, and pleasure kicks into gear and drives through me. i miss your hands running over my skin, almost skipping pieces entirely like i am too soft to touch. i bite my lip, thinking of your lips; how badly i would love to suck them dry, how badly i would love to be brushed by them. my arms feel lonely, empty, without someone to hold onto; don’t forget that i love being held by you, too. don’t forget that i am in love with you, even if i can’t bring my mouth to say the words right now. hold onto me, even if just in a memory.
if i handed you a knife and told you to cut me, and you did…..
is that still my fault, or yours?
we all cry. we all bleed. we all die.
we are all the same, just with different stories and eyes.
i would give anything to lie next to you while you sleep; holding you, listening to you breathe. i would do anything to hold you, at all. too attached, and not enough. you say i can have whatever i want; but if that were true, i would have you. and i do not.
The thoughts are everywhere. All day. But at night, they get so much worse. I remember everything, you know… I remember too much, and it burns. I feel my heart in my chest, but it aches at your absence. I know you don’t care, but I miss the presence of you. I miss when things were okay. I miss when you held my heart in your hand, and you cared if you dropped it. I miss the sweetness you could hold for me, it just never lasted long enough. I had a future in my mind, where your hand was in mine; Now I can’t even get a response. I found notes, saw your writing, and my heart cried in silence. I can’t look at lost love. I wish there was a way to coexist without bleeding. I wish there was a way I could hold you right now. But there isn’t, and I burn. I should get some sleep, but my eyes close to images of you. My dreams replay videos of you, but only sweetness now; Only the anxious, opening of one heart to another heart. Do you miss me, at all? No… Probably not.